INNOVATIVE DIVORCE SOLUTIONS - Helping Families in Transition Find Solutions Outside of Court

Recent Posts

Post-Divorce Checklist
Thinking About Divorce in Today's Economy
Effective Co-Parenting After Divorce
Simple Reminders for Divorced Parents
Figuring Out Alimony: Some Basic Criteria


Benefits of Mediation
Custody and Visitation
Divorce Process
Financial Planning
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Innovative Divorce Solutions - BLOG

Post-Divorce Checklist

If you are recently divorced, there are some very common but important tasks that you should address as soon as possible.  This checklist is not comprehensive by any means.  Nevertheless, here are some important issues to consider
  • Do you need to apply for a loan or change the name on a bank or credit card account? Make sure you have at least one certified copy of your divorce decree.  You can obtain a certified copy at the clerk’s office inside the courthouse where your divorce was finalized.

Thinking About Divorce in Today's Economy

“More people are out of work today than were last year.” 

“There will be a double dip recession primarily because of the intransigence of high unemployment and the rapidly faltering housing market.” 

“The unemployment rate is 9.5% and virtually certain to rise in the second half of the year.” 

These are just a small sample of the media headlines I saw this past weekend.  Depressing?  Like it or not, the shape of our economy is often a gauge for many of the daily emotions we all can experience.

Effective Co-Parenting After Divorce

In many ways, effective co-parenting after divorce is no different then effectively doing so during the marriage:  Parents should continue to share parental responsibilities according to their capabilities, interests, and resources (i.e. time). 
I have been specializing in mediating custody arrangements for close to 20 years in which former partners share custody and parenting 50/50 – straight down the middle.  Although I will be the first to admit that these arrangements are not suitable or appropriate for all families of divorce, I know dozens of couples who are making this work and doing it well.

Simple Reminders for Divorced Parents

Being cooperative with your ex and being active with your kids and involved in their lives are some of the best ways to reduce the negative affects of divorce.
Do you worry about the affect your separation or divorce is having on your kids?  Do you wonder what you can do to reduce the impact on the kids of your divorce today, tomorrow, and even after they are adults? 
Research has proven over and over again that without a degree of civility and cooperation between you and your ex, together with active involvement in your kids' lives by both parents, children will not simply "bounce back" from the divorce.

Figuring Out Alimony: Some Basic Criteria

In many divorces, alimony and child support create the most anxiety for couples who want to avoid court and negotiate their own settlement.  The minimum amounts required for child support are quite specific and easy to calculate for most families.  This is because there aremandatory child support schedulesor guidelines that have to be used.  Only in rare circumstances is it permissible for child support to be lower than the guidelines' minimum.  With alimony, by contrast, there is no specific formula, calculator, or guidelines.

It's Never Too Late to Try Mediation

Tim and Nancy, ages 35 and 36 respectively, had been married 15 years when Nancy began talking openly about wanting a divorce. When she hired an attorney to file the papers, Tim was devastated and angry. He did not see this coming. Within hours of getting "served" at his office with the initial divorce papers Tim had appointments set with several attorneys known for being expensive and very aggressive. Tim hired one of these to defend him.
In addition to being good and dedicated parents to their 10-year-old twin sons, Tim and Nancy were a financially successful couple.

Finding Emotional Balance During Divorce

During the divorce process Emotional endurance and balance are necessary and powerful ingredients in the divorce process.

1. Get support systems in place  Make sure you get strong emotional support and encouragement from trusted friends, family, a spiritual advisor or counselor to help you through the difficult, complex feelings that are associated with the divorce process.

2. Postpone big decisions  Postpone life altering decisions until you are able to think clearly about relocating or changing jobs, another relationship or acquiring significant property.

Do's and Don'ts of Divorce Finances

Divorce is a confusing time, and you may not be thinking rationally.  Nevertheless, there are costly implications for making some very common financial mistakes that people make while they are going through separation or divorce.  Here's some solid financial advice If you are in the middle of a divorce:

1)DON'T quit your job to avoid paying alimony and/or child support– Don't be a loser!  Quitting your job, or changing jobs for one with lower pay for the sole purpose of avoiding alimony and/or child support, is a great way to sabotage any hope of an amicable divorce.